Power of Dialogue

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Many people find the concept of Restorative Justice difficult to grasp simply because they have never felt or experienced that moment when a word, a gesture or an acknowledgment makes such an impact that it changes their situation irrevocably. For those of us who have been privileged to be present during Restorative Justice sessions, be it RJ Mediation, Circles or Restorative Conversations the power of dialogue shines through.

Like all conflict situations that are fraught with the given's and of course the unknown’s a certain tension is automatically introduced into the equation, how will the other party respond? Will they be honest? Will they abuse the opportunity to restore and resolve and importantly will they acknowledge what has happened? These of course are the central elements of the conversation that parties, sorry, fellow human beings need to ask of each other when they have been injured and wronged. Sometimes the injured is also the wrongdoer, that makes for a complex dialogue but first and foremost they are human, with all that goes with that.

Being present to facilitate these difficult conversations develop and get to the real issues has exposed R.J. practitioners to the absolute power of dialogue. We have witnessed what at times seemed to be intractable problems being quickly transformed by that moment, by that conscious action which say’s I know, I now understand, I am walking in your space and I feel what you felt and I want to put it right.

These are the moments when acknowledgement of hurt, injury and wrongdoing occur, the moments that open up the possibility of resolution, the creation of a threshold that the victim can then decide to cross and accept the acknowledgement for what it is. This is a crucial stage in a restorative process as the wrongdoer awaits acknowledgement of what they have said to put things right.

Putting things right is an age-old idea, from the parent of a young child who accidentally smashes a window and that parent goes and replaces the window thus putting it right. This of-course applies across life’s experience when something has happened and when someone has been injured the driving need to put it right if given the opportunity is a very basic human need.

I recently watched a film, Beyond Conviction, in which serious offenders met with victims and family of victims and that need to put things right was clearly evident and visible to the human eye. None of us need to be specially trained to be open to this.

So for me when talking about Restorative Justice I believe it is important we speak in human terms, about feelings, emotions and yes, putting it right because to put things right means to fully engage and live up to the responsibility to do just that, putting it right and sure can’t we all get that.